Wiring

How were you wired and how are you wiring the next generation around you?

I was chatting with a friend this evening, and somehow the conversation got to ‘growing up’ days. We talked about money and when she mentioned allowances, I was like yeah you get that when you went to school to which she said ‘no’ even on holiday – some kind of upkeep allowance. I did a quick ‘brain racking’ and said ‘nope’ nothing of that nature. She thought it was impossible especially since I was a girl child and supposedly parents need to make sure their daughters have enough money to take care of their needs. We chatted a bit about this and parted ways for the evening. However, the conversation didn’t leave me alone and the Holy Spirit then started opening my eyes to some things so here’s what I have to share. 

The parent’s responsibility is to meet the needs of their children. “Needs” not “Wants”. Thinking about the earlier conversation, even though I wasn’t given weekly allowance during the holidays, all my needs were met. That was 100% certain. Nowadays, the focus is on meeting the wants of the children that some basic needs (values) are lost in the mix. Even God, almighty God, the one who owns all the silver and gold, supplies our needs not wants, and meets us at the point of our needs. Phil 4:19. What did He meet when the Israelites were in the wilderness? Needs. See also Matthew 6:8, 32. One thing to note though is that, sometimes the things children term as wants are actually needs – it’s all about perspective. For instance, if a parent see that a child is creative and spends money on materials for painting, brushes etc., for the child at that point in time, it appears to be a want since the child is just having fun with it. For the parent however, it’s a need because he or she is looking into the future. Same with God. He supplies some needs that we see as wants now because we don’t see like He sees. Our perspective differs. You’ve probably had those moments when you realized you needed something and realized provision had been made for it earlier when you didn’t even know of the need. If you have, then I’m sure you get my drift. 

Now back to the conversation I had with my friend. One of her questions was ‘so how did you get money to do “stuff” during the holidays. To which my answer was, you save from your pocket money while in school. Then you could have all the fun you wanted during the holidays without always having to go to your parents to ask for money. The ‘joy’ that was set before me made saving really easy so delaying gratification became a norm. Now, fast forward some years. Has this impacted me positively in any way? Most definitely. I look at some of the things I’ve been able to achieve in many areas of my life including finances, and I have to say my ‘wiring’ during my formative years had and still has a lot to do with it. So back to my initial question. Are you conscious about how your actions or in actions are unconsciously wiring the children around you? There’s really no hard and fast rule on what to do or what not to do. You just have to own the end result and depending on what you want that to be, take steps now to get the outcome you desire. May the grace and wisdom of God be sufficient for you as you leverage the help of the Holy Spirit. 

Stay connected, 

Bolaji Ajayi